First Night Nerves
About this time last week it dawned on me that we really were going to be putting the race bike on track this year with someone other than me riding it.
Don't get me wrong, I have known this was going to happen since November 2015.
I had my last hurrah last year racing around on the fireblade (sometimes) and achieving my best series of results ever at the Donington meeting.
We have even had the minitwin built specifically for Wil to ride.
So it wasn't a shock to me,I had just been so focused on making sure we were in a position for Wil to complete his rookie race school that the actual event itself had raced up on me and was right there before us, one day to go.
And that's when, out of the blue, I suddenly got extremely nervous.
I mean that's completely ridiculous right? I wasn't going to be riding, The bike was ready, we have the support equipment and all the peripheral stuff, tyre warmers, paddock stands, jerry cans and all the other stuff that you need to go racing.
The van was ready to go, all I had to do was load up in the morning and trundle off to Brands Hatch at a leisurely pace, I didn't even need to be there until 6pm to set up for Sunday.
But what hit me was a whole raft of what ifs, What if I forget the jerry cans, what if I forget the paddock stands, What if I miss something when I check the bike over, What if the brakes don't work first corner, what if the bike wont start.
Pretty much all irrational stuff, I know the stuff to take, I know the stuff to check, I know everything works on the bike.
Where the nerves came from was that it wasn't me who was taking the risk this time. The consequences of me making a mistake or forgetting something were much larger now.
I was asking a young lad to trust that I knew what I was doing, that the experience I had gained was going to be used to ensure everything was going to be all right for him.
That we were going to put him in a potentially dangerous situation on a race track, but with everything done to make that as safe as is humanly possible and with all the tools he needs to be as good as he can be. So that he can realize his full potential.
My wife then reminded me of a scripture Philipians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And that really is the crux of it, When I was racing myself I used to get nervous when the grid formed up in the assembly area. I dealt with that by praying to Jesus to keep myself and my fellow racers safe, and that I would honour him by being as good as I could be.
And in this situation the same Jesus who gave me calmness when racing is all over this situation and not only that he is all over every situation.
If I mess up in my life, what the bible would call sin, there is a consequence, But Jesus is there for me and he says "Don't worry I got this, Trust me"
As I posted that night on our team facebook page, This is a completely new thing that God has put in my path and I have to trust that his plans will be fulfilled to his ultimate purpose.
I'm really excited to see what this season and the next few years bring for us as a team, for Wil as a rider, and for the groups that come along to the racing bringing their mates for a bit of hi octane outreach.
I pray that I am as good a part of that as I can be and give glory to God now for whatever we achieve.
See you trackside soon